My Early Childcare Career
Growing up, I was the girl who always wanted to be with the little kids; I was a “little mother.” I treated my baby dolls like real babies, and tucked them into bed every night. My imaginary friends were actually my imaginary children. The names I carved into my treehouse were my future kids’ names….
I was the oldest of 13 local grandkids, which meant I got to help care for the younger cousins from the beginning. I “watched” all the younger children at moms-and-kids events while the moms were in the next room. I started saying, “I want to be a stay-at-home mom when I grow up,” before I even started school.…
For every holiday, I assembled my younger cousins, and directed a program for the aunts and uncles (complete with scripts, rehearsals, and costumes). I volunteered at church to help with the preschool choir.
…. Basically, if it involved caring for children, I was there.
When I was old enough to be a “real” babysitter, my mother sent me to babysitting classes to be an official Red Cross-certified babysitter. I babysat many of the kids from our church; and my childcare-loving best friend and I even put together some “Parents’ Night Out”s and babysat [way too many] kids together.
Even as an older child, I still answered, “I want to be a stay-at-home mom when I grow up.” And then added, “I’d probably like to have about six kids.”
But as I got older I received pressure to choose a “real career.” And what career is best suited for a girl who wants only to nurture children? I concluded (as have many girls throughout history) that I would like best to be a teacher. I began to set my sights on more official childcare/learning experiences, and to build toward my “real career.”
And I had a built-in advantage: My mother was an elementary teacher! What’s more, I went to a private school, and she taught at a public school, which meant we had different break schedules, and different dismissal times. Every day after my school day, I’d get dropped off at Mom’s school as their day was just finishing up. I often got to help with the dismissal procedures, and watch the late and after-school kids. And every day that Mom had school and I didn’t, I would go in with her. (That’s right, a 12-17 year old, voluntarily giving up her day off school to work.) I’d get to help the kids who were behind, I’d get to help supervise group work; and best of all, Mom let me teach my own art lessons to her class!
I officially entered the professional childcare industry at age 15 (and a half). Because of my passion for childcare, I was given an incredible opportunity with a research team out of the University of Dayton, to work with a toddler with autism. I got to train alongside students in master’s programs, attend university seminars and conferences on Autism (“back then,” it was a relatively new topic!), practice ABA with our collective toddler, and more…!
From there, I had the privilege of crafting an Early Childhood Education (ECE) independent study program for my high school; and I got to be the first participant. Through my senior year, I went to my classes in the morning, and worked in elementary schools in the afternoons:
The first half of the year, I was a classic student-teacher for a second-grade classroom—even teaching my own lesson plans by the end of the semester! The second half of the year, I worked at a local elementary school, visiting with a different classroom each day of the week. Most often, I tutored struggling students or helped with group work.
When I went to college, I declared ECE as my major. But as I began taking classes, I lost my passion—or maybe my passion was never in education to begin with. I just wanted to be a mom. Discouraged, I changed my major. I spent the next four years studying studio art, my lifelong passion- second only to childcare. But even as I studied art (and loved it), I couldn’t abandon my passion for nurturing children. At first, I tried to combine my passion for childcare with my art—I was chosen for an art-education fellowship where I got to teach Drawing to high school students for a while. I taught children’s art lessons out of my studio apartment for an even longer while...
But ultimately, I needed a “real job;” so I ended up “working my way through art school” at childcare centers.
At age 20, I found myself a lead classroom teacher for the first time. (It was Preschool, but still.) I was essentially a childcare prodigy after all, with a resume longer than anyone else my age, and more official references than I could include on my application… So I was feeling pretty “big for my britches” as I walked into the position. Surely, with all my specialized focus and experience with children, this job would be a total cakewalk.
And then I found myself alone with 12 three-year-olds.
And it was not a cakewalk.
I copied all the classroom management I’d ever been taught; I pulled out every strategy I’d ever seen my supervising teachers use. And it did NOT work. None of it.
The rewards, the sticker charts, the songs, the punishments, the stern teacher voice, the behavior charts, losing the privileges, the trips to the director’s office, the calls home…..
None of it got them to listen. It didn’t make them stop hitting each other; it didn’t make them stop throwing things; it didn’t make them take turns; it didn’t keep them from talking back or lying to me; it didn’t keep them on their cots at naptime… Nothing.
Not only did I have a classroom of 12 three-year-olds that was utter chaos, but I was also EMBARRASSED: I was Snow White! I was Mary Poppins! I was the childcare prodigy! I had above-and-beyond experience and training…. I had NO reason to be screwing this up. But I was. And I had no idea why, or how to fix it.
With so much on the line (in my prideful, 20-year-old eyes), I started using more punitive punishments, making bigger threats, saying sterner things, raising my voice… anything to get them to listen! It wasn’t a conscious decision to lean that direction; it was survival instinct.
But I started to notice it was working! Phew!
… And then I started to notice why it was working….
I was scaring them.
…. Check back later for the rest of my story, and more about the journey of Mindful Childcare!
